It is that time of year when A-League clubs receive their Roar report cards as they plan for a prosperous New Year. Some teams will be pleased with the teachers’ comments, while others will be self-conscious about the appraisal of how off the pace they have been through the first third of the season. Here are the grades for the twelve teams on their ‘official’ report cards as the competition heads into its festive period.
Wellington Phoenix – A: Despite not being the most popular member of the class, Wellington has worked diligently and looms as a potential dux of the cohort. Just one poor assessment has held his grade back from the highest achievable.
Melbourne Victory – A: Victory is back in the playground and enjoying himself once again, showing a return of the confidence he once had. The college is pleased to have Victory back in the schoolyard.
Western Sydney – A: Despite being unpopular, Western Sydney is excelling, and it seems he has turned the corner. Support from the outside is what is holding him back.
Macarthur – B+: Macarthur has produced very good results thus far this semester. The staff is suspicious and concerned about plagiarism.
Brisbane Roar – B: The consensus among staff is that Brisbane is on drugs. Little else could explain his erratic behavior and performance.
Melbourne City – B-: City is struggling with his work this year, with a lack of soul and heart exposing him when the stakes are the highest.
Adelaide United – B: Adelaide is underperforming and needs to stand up and get serious about the year ahead. It is time for him to realize his talent and trump others’ assessments.
Newcastle Jets – B-: It is good to see Newcastle out of the learning support department and beginning to tackle the outcomes set for mainstream students more consistently.
Central Coast Mariners – B-: It’s time for Central Coast to pull his finger out quickly before the chances of an award on presentation have disappeared.
Sydney FC – C: Sydney is struggling across all sections of the curriculum, and the other students mocking his marks is enjoyable and satisfying.
Western United – C: A recent assessment task has given Western some hope for a late-year resurgence. Most in the staff room do not believe it to be possible.
Perth Glory – D: Perth will likely be repeating the year, as poor performance and sloppy work have been consistent. The spot in the remedial class has been suggested by more than one teacher.